The Curtain Will NEVER Come Down On Cash!

A cash-only ice cream kiosk in a threatre.

Who would use that - according to LINK ATM Scheme, few people carry wallets anymore so how can they carry cash?

Oddly, not a problem at the Alhambra Theatre in Dunfermline last week, where everyone seemed delighted to use cash to get their delicious Lucas Ice Cream.

After exhaustive research on-premises, it was found that even those who did not carry wallets continued to have pockets - many people said it is difficult to leave home without them - so carrying cash turns out to have the same level of simplicity the British public have enjoyed for 2100 years.

The brilliantly funny Chris McCausland, who was the star turn at the Alhambra, was in his dressing room and, of course, didn’t actually see the cheerful queues for ice cream - but he would at least have heard the happy licking when he returned to the stage after his richly deserved intermission!

The curtain eventually came down on Chris that night - BUT that will NEVER happen to cash!